When Mistakes and Failures Kicked the Shit out of my Confidence, I Decided to Kick Back.

Thinking back on my career and the paths in life I have chosen for myself, it dawns on me that every step and every mistake has shaped a higher purpose for me. A path leading into something I yet have to discover. All I know is that my vision for girls and ambitious female professionals have been long underway, and I’m so excited to see where this path will take me and you.

As a young woman, I was feeling misplaced in the world of tech and I was struggling to find my grounding. I always felt as if something was wrong with me as if I didn’t fit in or no one ever truly understood me. Back then and in being in Denmark I wasn’t really aware of gender bias and I never thought that my gender would play a role in how I felt in this male dominated industry.

I have always been very intuitive and a woman who feels strongly, but at the same time, I disliked it, It would feel as I would be outside of my own body looking in and wondering who that person was? I remember one place of work where I actually got scared of going into the office at the same time as our CEO would arrive, so I would arrive either later or earlier and always try to find out the day before if he would be there. I hated that job, I hated how it made me feel invisible, misunderstood and above all how it slowly broke my confidence both a skilled professional but also as a woman.

“It felt as if I didn’t fit into the life I found myself living.”

What I have found reflecting back on my career and life is that my path always has had one common “Red thread as we say in Danish” — My work with teen girls and young female professionals. Looking back I always seemed to a be drawing in women it was as if they would just come to me for support out of the blue. I never really understood why before, but it seems quite clear to me now.

After a turbulent decade of mistakes and failures which really kicked the shit out of my confidence, I decided to kick back.

I was desperate to get a job that would fulfil me both as a professional and as a woman. When I found myself struggling with low career self-esteem, brought on by a tough industry and loads of bosses with no emotional intelligence and no compassionate leadership I decided to quit; When I say QUIT I mean that I did a great deal of thinking and soul searching to find out why I wanted to quit, it was only when I couldn’t see a point in what I was doing and why I was doing it that I chose to leave.

I finally threw in the towel and I gave up! It hurt like hell — something, I thought was right for me turned out to be a big fat epic fail. YES, I know it’s not a popular thing to say, however, it’s the truth! I felt as if I was trying to push against a brick wall — nothing moved, nothing was flexible and I was deeply sad about my life and my career.

At that point in time, I didn’t realise that this experience this decade of fear and failure, would be a key factor pushing back and driving me onto my path, the only one right for me. A path more fulfilling than I ever thought possible.

So at the age of 36 when I decided to quit, I was sitting at home feeling depressed and angry.

My family would always say “I was like a piece of cork”; try to hold it underwater and it will pop back up right away. I hated that saying because when they would say that, it felt as if my feelings and my experiences and my sadness, didn’t matter;” because in a minute she will pop back up” and be happy. They were right and until this day, this turned out to be one of my Superpowers. Bouncing back like a rubber ball, never low for long and always with a surviving mechanism to keep driving towards the goals I set for myself.

Nothing could really hold me down and I would push against the current.

But you know what? I was hurting, I was sad and I was feeling there was no place for me that was the right place, but what were my options? What choices did I have? So out of anger and hurt and a broken confidence, I applied for a job as a substitute teacher. And between you and me, I thought to myself that this job was just an easy way of making a living HA! Because how could I fail? This was not a real job, it was a chance to come up for air and to rebuild myself. Well, it was a very REAL job and it would prove to be both my saving grace but also my biggest lesson in life.

This decision made me reevaluate my career and showed me a path I never thought would be for me. I got the job and I loved it, I found something else I was good at, something that gave me butterflies and made me jump cheerfully out of bed every day, happy to be going to work.

I had found my purpose and that drove me to a second degree as a full blown teacher and after years of studying and working it also drove me to a full-blown burnout.

I wanted to do it all, I wanted to help and be there for my students, but not only as their teacher teaching them subjects, helping them cram for tests and exams. I was very focused on building their social consciousness, their empathy for others, and their willingness to grow as a team. I wanted for them to have compassion for others also for those who did not look like them, on the inside or on the outside.

But I was working in a system where test scores and being measured by your grades were more important that a high emotional and social intelligence. I was told to stop striving and working on strengthening my student’s emotional resilience. All along I was working towards creating a better culture for our youth and again I found myself pushing against the current, the system and the society we live in today.

Fast forward a few years I’m not working as a teacher anymore.

Today I own and run a coaching business where I work with ambitious professionals helping them find Confidence, Courage and Clarity. I work toward empowering them to be brave enough to go get anything they want in life and create a life and career they are absolutely in love with. I work to make the world, just a little bit better and more compassionate and I work and live to be a positive inspiration to everyone I meet.

I would love to get to know you! if you find yourself needing help to get clear and focused on finding a way to Kick back and getting what you want in your life and career.

Alternatively, you are more than welcome to connect with me on LinkedIn too.